I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
