you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
