It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
