"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
