I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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