When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize