I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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