So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
