I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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