so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
