I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
