he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
