how can u be prego again
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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