look no pants
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
last night I used snow as a chaser
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
