I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
