whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
