I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
