I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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