If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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