Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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