hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
