Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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