if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
