i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
