she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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