I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
