Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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