I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
