first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
