If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
