I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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