Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
