wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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