that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
