And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
