Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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