He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
