weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
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