i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
