I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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