it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
