And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
