i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
did i just pee glitter
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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