I'm really into asian looking animals
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
