Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
