i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
