Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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