Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
