Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Alive.
So much puke
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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