The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
